14 November 2017
These curves mark playing dress up with myself in cold winter months getting over a crush. A vintage blue dress. A touch of bright lipstick. Body balancing on the edge of a cushioned seat while eyes glaze over to darkness, opening up ears to feel what I hear. What lies within heals, excites, impresses and astounds. You are my longest love — I will listen to your whispers and feel the rhythm of everything that moves you until silence draws its heavy blanket over my ears.
It's more than music discovery. More than appreciation. Music is the language in which my emotions emit themselves. Headphones in, walks are soundtracked with non-diegetic tunes: tapping steps under a shining sun to Stevie Wonder; serene strolls on a stormy Sunday with Daughter quietly playing along to raindrops on wet concrete. It's very much a chicken / egg scenario – do I choose music to fit my mood or a mood to fit the music?
I sway to "Your Hand Holding Mine," imagining just that. Hedonistic. Melancholic.
I get a heavy head tingle to Dustin O'Halloran, thinking that maybe this is what loving unconditionally might feel like. His keystrokes hold so much longing.
I yearn for a cold quiet night, covered in blankets while a muffled melody of sad bedroom bands play under the duvet cover off a small iphone speaker, or waves that warmly fog up a room on a 70's record player until the needle reaches null. Cat Power, Keaton Henson. Singular. Soft.
I dance to millennium hip hop while I run, arms flailing and shoulders following suit. Rapping with furrowed eyebrows and shifting feet to curious glances running towards me. Power drives me. Bonfire ignites me.
"What's your favorite band" is an impossible question to answer. There's no ultimate favorite, just a jam for the time being.
Last month: Arcade Fire, Yellow Days, The Zombies.
This week: Christine and the Queens, Rhye, old school Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton.
Next week? who knows.
Music is the way to my heart. The biggest turn on is a good playlist. The most romantic thing that's happened to me in recent years was getting asked to start a spotify collaboration playlist. It was infatuation in the first ten songs. And while I don't have favorites, I'm thinking that now's the time to stick to an artist for a good chunk of time. A shifting pattern of affection makes for an interesting life, but there's something to be said about consistency.