03 September 2016

security blanket
1. blanket my grandma made me (2 y.o.) 2. butterfly bag from kindergarten 3. ponytails on wrist (9 y.o. - 15 y.o.)
 4. point and shoot dslr (high school) 5. alcohol 6. point and shoot slr (present)
Security blankets make social anxiety a little easier. a drink in hand to sip between conversations. a couple of trips to the bathroom, not to pee or fix my lipstick but to breathe. I went to a wedding yesterday and I felt a panic attack coming on as I drove to the venue. the person i knew most wasn't even there, and the others were best friends with the bride and groom, so i spent the night drinking too much alcohol with my former boss (hey, amy). other than a couple sips, i hadn't had anything to drink since graduation. i had five last night because a slight sway to my walk is preferred to being petrified. i slung my camera on my side, my new security blanket for social anxiety. 
I stumbled upon a "report card" from preschool last week. in it, mr. frank described me as a sweet little girl who had no problem talking to adults but hesitated to immerse herself with her peers prior to any invitation. same girl, different hair. 

Culver City | USA | march 2016 | Pentax MX | unknown stock